Sometimes the mailbox can make you smile
It must have been a slow day at the offics of my friends, because I had more forwards in my in box than a Russian basketball team.
Not to be one to keep all the good stuff for myself, I thought I would share.
According to the e-mail, here are some actual lines from church bulletins around the country. It just goes to show that spell check isn’t all that.
Here’s the forward:
“Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services in 2007.
1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
2. The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.‘ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus’.
3. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
4. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.“
You got to love those, but there’s nothing like a good Yo Momma joke. These came in from an old high school friend. Try these the next time you need to talk junk….
“Yo momma’s so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.“
Yo momma’s so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!“ and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.“
Yo momma’s so ugly they push her face into dough to make Halloween cookies.
Yo momma’s so ugly they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower
Yo momma’s so ugly they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma’s so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
Yo momma’s so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma’s so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma’s so ugly that if ugly were bricks she’d have her own projects.
Yo momma’s so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma’s so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
Yo momma’s so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma’s so ugly even Rice Krispies won’t talk to her!
Yo momma’s so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn’t date her!
Yo momma’s so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma’s so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma’s so ugly the NHL banned her for life”
I can’t take credit for those. Just a few items from the old electronic mailbox.
I hope they make you smile like they did me.
Mitch Sneed is the publisher of the Culpeper Star-Exponent. A Georgia native, Sneed has been working for newspapers in the South since he was 15 years old. Culpeper is Sneed's first publisher's job coming to the area from Opelika, Alabama where he served as editor of Media General's Opelika-Auburn News. 
