Grieving the death of Alana Hester

It has been more than two weeks since a tragic car accident took the life of Alana Hester, a precious young lady who was 17.

Her death came as a shock to all of us, and we are still learning how to go through this life one day at time. I would like to express my deepest sympathy to Alana’s parents and family.

I’m not writing this column as a reminder of the pain and heartbreak, but I am writing with the hope that somebody will be encouraged.

A lot of people were affected by Alana’s sudden death, and losing somebody you care about is always difficult, leaving you heartbroken.

The loss of a child is something I cannot even begin to describe. People who have lost a child all say you will never be the same again, and I believe that.

One thing I have learned through the years is that I did not know how to grieve. When one of my younger brothers passed away, and later on when I lost my father, I did not cry because I wanted to be strong for my family.

Consequently, I ended up not dealing with it. I just blocked it away and did not think about it.

It was almost two years after the death of my father when everything came flashing back.

I was living here in Culpeper without any family members. I thank God for my friends who helped me get through those challenging times. They kept me from doing something I would have regretted.

Blocking it out is not the way to deal with the hurt of losing someone. Then again, dwelling on it day in and day out won’t help you move on with life either.

While going through the grieving process, it is healthy to focus on all the times you spent together — but don’t dwell on it. God kept you here for a reason. You have your life to live.In closing, I would like to share a passage of scripture that helped me deal with the loss of Alana Hester.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

In God we trust. He will never leave us nor forsake us. His love will never be separated from us.

I believe He knows why He allows things to happen in our lives, and I don’t have to question Him on that.

If you are going through a grieving process, fix your eyes on Jesus. He will carry you through.

God bless.

Kalenga was Alana Hester’s soccer coach at Culpeper County High School. He also works with students in a youth group setting as an organizer of Rize Up. His columns run every Sunday.