Not going to grow old gracefully

There is an old saying that "Life is too short," which, if you stop and think about it, is very, very true. How often when we were young did we wish our lives away, being bored, wishing always that we were somewhere else, or wishing we were simply with someone else-

I realize now at the ripe old age of 50 plus just how true my mother's words were when she used to tell me that time flies and we will be old before we know it, although I'm not totally convinced that my "schooldays" were indeed the best of my life thus far!

However, there is no denying that the older I get, the more I begin to appreciate that time is a finite commodity and I am just starting to run out of it. So what do we do to try and turn back the clock, or at least try to stop it from moving on so fast-

For some, the answer lies in trying to look younger, to act younger than their years or hang out with someone young enough to be their daughter/son in the hope that some of the essence of youth will rub off. Then there are those who, depending on your point of view, are brave or stupid enough (and, yes, rich enough) to turn to the skills of the plastic surgeon in an effort to mask the effects of nature's ravages. But these acts always seem to have a whiff of desperation about them, which only serves to give everyone else around a sense of disparagement - even a level of pity.

I know that everyday I wake up, I never feel like a fifty-year-old - I'd much prefer someone younger! In my head I still think I am in my early thirties, even though my body tries to tell me otherwise (particularly on horseback!), and to a degree I feel that a lot of aging is in the mind.

If you feel young and surround yourself with likeminded people, then most likely you will be young in your outlook, if not in your physical self.

I really can't imagine myself getting so old that I can barely move out of my rocking chair, or becoming dependent upon others to look after me - in fact, I won't allow it! When the day comes that I decide enough is enough, I will get my horse and saddle up one last time.

I shall mount up (with the aid of a step ladder, if necessary) and ride that beautiful steed out into the sunset, and we will just ride and ride until such time as I can no longer manage to stay in the saddle (OK, so I admit I'm not that good at that part even now!).

When I fall off for the very last time, I shall feel as though I am floating on air and I will glide up to the gates of St. Peter where (depending on whether the fashion is for Western or English riding), I will be allowed to enter the beautiful lush meadows of heaven and once again meet up with my faithful four-legged friends of old.  Or maybe not!

Anyhow, as you may have gathered I really do not have much of an interest in growing old, and certainly not growing old gracefully!

If I really do have to put up with being incapacitated, with a failing memory, with getting more and more short-sighted, and even deaf, then I am not going to be this quiet, peaceful old man waiting patiently for the grim reaper to come and pay a visit.

No sir, I am going to be a right old cantankerous, ornery hombre! If I am going to have to suffer being an old fool, then I certainly am not going to suffer fools gladly - if I'm going down, I'm gonna take a few with me! Stick me in an old folks home and I will start up a revolution - we will march in our crutches, Zimmer frames and wheelchairs to get recognition.

Granddad's army is on the march - watch out, you young whippersnappers, we are on the move and headed your way!
So anyway, in a country that to an outsider such as myself seems incredibly obsessed with health care (or the lack of it), I shouldn't have to suffer from any particularly nasty diseases other than the wallet-wasting need to visit the doctor/hospital in the first place!

If we believe all the ads we see on TV, about the only thing we can't cure is the verbal and the mental confusion brought about by being told we are all suffering from this or that nasty disease.

The name of this disease is only ever referred to in abbreviated format (e.g. ADD, BPD, ED, etc.), and for which just one prescription of "x" wonder drug will cure all - subject of course to taking "y", "z" and any other equally wonderful drug that won't counteract the effects of "x", but is needed to reduce the plethora of side-effects involved.

One of those unfortunate side effects, of course, is the half mile of small print on the label - which, in case you had forgotten, we can't read because of our aging eyesight!

The really odd thing is that until we were told about it, we never even knew we were suffering from the condition, but it's strangely comforting to know we now have a label we can put on the problem, and it isn't aging … is it-
Until next week

David Snogles can be reached at david_hasbury@ yahoo.com