Is your 15 minutes of fame worth all the heartache for your kids?

With all the hubbub over “balloon boy” this past week, I would be remiss if I did not give you (or force-feed you) my thoughts.

First of all, I have only watched one episode of the reality train wreck that is “Wife Swap.” It happened to be the episode in which this ego-maniacal father of the balloon boy appeared.

For me, that was not only the first, but the last, episode of that unreal-reality show. What a hot mess that was!

It was apparent that Mr. Heene thought he was destined for fame with his less-than-stellar performance, screaming at his “substitute” wife and letting his kids jump from the stairs onto the couch.

The never-ending thirst for fame, albeit the token 15 minutes of fame, is so powerful that this man allegedly put his child in a position of helping to deceive an entire nation and authorities.

We watched, we listened, we held our breath as the balloon boy floated around the atmosphere, only to have the balloon land with no boy inside! He was hiding in the attic ... and, bless his heart, from the mouths of babes, told the interviewer it was “for the show.”

Whoops, Mr. Heene — you didn’t count on your child covering for your lies.

So, in the interest of assuming he is innocent before proven guilty, here is what I know:

1) Richard Heene crafted the Jiffy Pop-esque balloon as some sort of IFO (Identified Flying Object – my words) and was pitching his family’s own reality show.
2) Heene was reported as contacting the news agencies before contacting 911 to say his child had been in the balloon when it drifted upward.
3) Heene promised journalists camped outside his house this weekend that he would have a major announcement.
4) Heene’s major announcement was that he was placing a box outside to collect the reporters’ questions.
5) I was eating my breakfast when Heene’s balloon-boy son, Falcon, vomited on the Today show. My Special K wasn’t so special anymore.

Who remembers the name Levi Johnston? Dig back in your archives — he is the father of Sarah Palin’s grandson (aka Bristol Palin’s child’s father.) In a quest to ride on the coattails of his 15 minutes of fame, Johnston has been busy in the gym, readying himself for his Playgirl photo shoot. It must have been his date with self-described D-Lister Kathy Griffin that prompted him to show off his, um, bare assets.

And am I the only one who is sick and tired of the hoopla surrounding “Jon and Kate Plus 8?” Only after TLC decided to change it to “Kate Plus 8” did Jon Gosselin decide he didn’t want his kids in the spotlight ... however, that didn’t stop him from demanding a $10,000-$12,000 salary to co-host a radio show or hocking Ed Hardy clothing.

There is one common thread in all three examples above — children will be victims of their parents’ alleged hijinks to boost their popularity.

If it’s proven that the Heenes’ balloon stunt was in fact a hoax, they taught their child a horrible lesson — that lying is tolerated, even encouraged in this case. Levi Johnston’s photo shoot will be forever etched on the pages of infamy. And Jon and Kate’s fame will be stuck in the annals of tabloid history.

Smith’s column runs every Friday on the editorial page.