It can be tough for parents to find the right balance with kids

I saw a bumper sticker once that read, “Raising children is like getting pecked to death by a chicken.”

If memory serves, I believe it was my columnist hero, Erma Bombeck, who first made that phrase famous. Roseanne Barr, on her series premiere, said, “Now I know why animals eat their young!” 

I never quite “got” those quotes until I became a parent.

Our children, in this “wonderful” age of technology, are bombarded with so much information as well as misinformation. Where do we draw the line as parents?

We want to give our kids their privacy; yet we want to protect them and keep them from growing up too fast. How much information do we, as parents, give them?

How much is too much? If G.I. Joe was right, “Knowing is half the battle.”

My husband and I are not the type of parents who shield our daughter from everything, as we know she’s going to encounter unsavory images away from home as well. But we don’t give her carte blanche to watch everything that’s on, or give her free reign of the Internet.

Sometimes the irrational mommy side of me wants to keep her in a bubble, away from anything that would make her any less innocent. We’ve considered not letting her date until she’s 30, but that won’t work.

Being a parent is scary, especially considering all the things you hear around the community, on the news and around the world. Girls pregnant at 12?! The horror of teacher Mary Kay Letorneau seducing a 13-year-old male student was sickening — even more sickening was the fact that she married him after she got out of prison.

I’ve come to realize that we shouldn’t just have “the talk” but a real, open line of communication. We need to let our child know that certain things aren’t shameful to talk about, and they can come to us with questions or concerns.

If you’re a Gen Xer like me, you’ll remember the book by Judy Blume, “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret.”

What a great coming-of-age book. It’s still every bit as relevant today as it was back in the day. Admittedly, in my never-ending quest for the handbook that should have come with our child, I went to the library and borrowed, “Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Sex and Character.”

You know, like a Judy Blume for grownups.

Being a parent can be the most frustrating, yet the most rewarding job you’ll ever have. I shouldn’t say job, because it’s more like a lifelong career.

According to my mom, and I have no doubt that I will do the same, you worry about your kids, even after they’re grown up. You can give advice, urge them to make the right decisions and allow them to make mistakes.

As parents of a pre-teen, we try to guide our daughter in the right direction, and, short of putting a tracking device and recorder on her, trust her to make the right decisions.

With so many influences in the media this day and age of technology, we have to give our kids guidelines and a certain level and trust and privacy. That said, hopefully the pecking by the chicken won’t be as painful.

Smith’s column runs every Friday on the editorial page.