My contractor, my brother – the many pitfalls of sharing projects

My sister came to visit last week, and while she was here I showed her the storage desk I’d completed in the spring. It was the first wood project I’d ever pulled together on my own — with a toolbox that could see some help — and I knew she would be particularly impressed because her husband is a craftsman.

But when she shared my enthusiasm and said she was going to take a picture to bring home, I balked.

“If you stand back, you can see it’s a little crooked,” I told her.

She stayed where she was, about a foot away from the desk, and replied, “Oh, I can see it from here.” Unfortunately, my project style has always been function over form, but thankfully the camera stayed in its case.

While we were talking, though, I was reminded of all the projects around the house where I could use the help of skilled labor. And just before I tried to finagle a return trip for the both of them, I flashed back more than a decade to a similar arrangement that had been made by two more of my sisters. (If I’ve failed to mention it before, I grew up on the set of “Mom and Dad + 11,” so I’ve got a bottomless well of sibling stories.)

My oldest sister had been married for a few years and was still living in Memphis, Tenn., where the family had spent a good deal of our lives. Her younger sister was newly married and living in Virginia Beach, where the rest of us had landed.

They arranged a quick quid pro quo where the newlyweds would come to Memphis for an expense-free “vacation” and, in exchange, the new brother in law, a brick mason, would help with a small landscaping project.

My sister was thrilled with the idea of going back to town, getting to see all of her high school friends, and just taking a vacation. My oldest sister was also thrilled because that project which had been lingering for months would finally be completed. It was a “win-win” — for them.

Well, the four got together and two got busy catching up. The other two, however, started the arduous process of getting to know one another over manual labor. One believed he was getting professional help but was destroyed by a full day in the sun mixing mortar and serving as a gopher. The other couldn’t believe that this family “client” would design a flower bed that would require almost every brick to be cut before it was set.

I’m happy to report that they laugh about it now. But the immediate fallout from that arrangement still serves me well as a reminder. In our current economy, where liquidity is an issue, there is a swell of interest in creating barter systems. And while the idea of pooling labor, or sharing projects to cut costs, seems appealing, I’d only offer the following advice before anyone “contracts” with a friend or neighbor:

- Make sure the people involved in the actual work are involved in the transaction. When my sisters served as “agents,” the skilled laborer had no idea what he was in for and neither did his client.

- Be flexible. I know that we all want things to turn out the way we’ve dreamed them up, but the best value you get from sharing projects is the free professional advice. Where a paid contractor might say OK to every request and just blow out your budget, if you’re willing to listen, your friends can help you tweak your plans to save time and money.

- And never lose sight that this person is a friend or relative. If you know that this will be a problem, there is a simple solution: Hire a stranger and pay cash.

Of course, this leads me to another point. No matter what the job or who you hire, treat them with respect.

There’s no excuse for treating paid contractors the way some people do — almost like they were family members.

Clements’ column runs every Monday on the editorial page.