Adults say the darndest things

I’d guess everyone has seen the TV show “Kids say the darndest things.” But I’ve discovered, when it comes to kids, adults get right into the act.

I’m not sure what it is about kids, but the minute you walk into a mall, restaurant or office carrying a baby, you get the look from certain people.

If there are fellow parents in the crowd, you get the “I feel your pain” look. If it’s a single couple or younger folks, you get the “oh crap, there goes our pleasant trip to the mall/restaurant/ doctor’s office.”

For parents everywhere, I’d like stand up and say having a child does not make us social outcasts.

We can still go out to dinner, we can still go shopping and we can live our everyday lives. But lately, I’ve gotten the look or strange comments every time we’ve taken Mady into a restaurant.

We’ve had servers come up, look in at a sleeping baby and say “oh, they’re so cute when they’re sleeping and quiet.”

Do you mean that if my baby is awake and looking around, her cuteness is suddenly gone? If that’s the case I’ll make sure to visit your establishment only when it’s her nap time or bedtime. Because that makes sense.

Why would anyone even make such a statement? Just enjoy the fact my daughter isn’t old enough yet to run around the restaurant singing Disney songs, because that day is coming. And when that day comes, I’ll still go out to eat, if just to annoy that waitress.

Then we get the people who, for some reason, think we’re horrible parents for going out to eat with a baby.

We’ve had people comment, “can’t you get a babysitter?” Why yes, we could get a babysitter, but we heard you were in the restaurant and really wanted to ruin your dinner.

Sometimes, maybe, just maybe, we want to eat out as a family. See, I’ve been spoiled. Mady has been so good each time we’ve gone out, it makes us want to keep taking her out. She rarely cries, and when she does it’s conveniently just as we’re ready to leave. But still, we almost always get the “look,” as we walk in. The look that says “screaming baby walking in, prepare for trouble,” even if she’s snoring contently.

Then we get the folks who try to guess the sex of our baby. Early on, this was something that troubled my wife. So she placed a huge order of adorable bows and headbands that screams, “I’m a girl, people.”

Yet, even if her wardrobe looks like Rainbow Bright coordinated it, people always mistake her for a boy.

“He sure is cute isn’t he,” man No. 1 commented the other day in the mall.

I was half tempted to say something smart along the lines of, “yes, we’re preparing him for the Village People revival.” But I bit my tongue and simply responded, “yep, HE sure is.”

I’m pretty sure my father-in-law was going to die laughing.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to paint “I’m a baby girl,” on my daughter’s car seat before we head out for dinner.